how I ditched unrealistic New Year's resolutions

I am a strong advocate when it comes to personal growth. It takes only a driven person and a curious mind to go overboard with New Year's resolutions. Most of the time this means unfinished TO-DO lists which later in the year lead to disappointment and even low self-confidence, as we let our results define our self-worth. That's absolutely human, so be kind to your past self. :)

I, myself, have fallen into this trap many years in a row. But as I invested in myself and my coaching path, I discovered some tips & tricks on how to define achievable and healthy resolutions/goals/intentions:

be aware of who you are

Knowing yourself is a lifetime process. The realistic goals are the ones aligned with your true self - so start from within - reflect and write down your values, purpose, what drives you, and what are you passionate about. You may also discover that paying a gym subscription won't get you moving and will turn that into practicing a sport that you really enjoy.

keep a short resolutions list

I know an overachiever when I see one. And yes, guilty as charged. Regardless of your recipe for success, a smaller, achievable list will keep you focused and give you a well-deserved confidence boost when you will see progress.

Remember, you can always modify and add goals anytime you want :)

create robust and FUN resolutions

Now that you might have some things on your list, it is time to nitpick. Go through each item and:

1. check if you are as specific as you can be and even break down bigger goals into smaller ones. e.g. "be healthier" can turn into "drink a minimum of 2 liters of water each day" and/or "sleep regularly 7 hours at night".

2. think about the significance and measurement of achieving your intentions. Here are some guiding questions:

   1. how do I define success in my resolution?

   2. by when do I want to have it achieved?

   3. why is my resolution important to me?

   4. what is the outcome of being successful?

   5. what are the consequences of not achieving it?

3. explore ways to make it fun and engaging.

4. use SMART goals definition:

YOUR GOAL: ______________________________________________________________ S – Specific: What exactly is the first step of the resolution/goal you identified? M – Measurable: (for what you have listed above) make sure you have qualified or quantified the measure of success. A – Achievable: Is the initial step (from “Specific”) possible to achieve? R – Reasonable: How reasonable is it that what you’re saying you’re going to do can be done at this time? T – Time-Oriented: By when, exactly, will you complete this first step of the goal?

TIP: If your goal is not achievable or reasonable, go back and adjust it.

define accountability

Exciting times planning the "new year, new me", I hear ya! If you are like most of us, our self-discipline sometimes needs some support. That's okay, no shame in that. Self-acceptance can take a lot of work, especially when we consider ourselves as not perfect. My learning and advice is to find what is suitable for you when it comes to staying focused. Here are some ideas:

• make a plan - when, where, and how do you want to start (what are the first steps)

• track progress - write down about your resolutions in a journal or find an app for that

• set recurring reminders or leave notes/post-its for yourself on the bathroom mirror or on your laptop

• talk to your friends about your intentions and even involve them in keeping you accountable - for example, ask them to chat for 10 minutes about your progress every time you meet.

• think about the 80/20 rule - It is important to have consistency (what you do in 80% of the cases) rather than stress about one time in which you did not have progress towards achieving your resolutions.

have a back-up plan

This is my favorite part and an amazing trick to make sure you ALWAYS succeed in your plans. It is a valuable exercise that raises your awareness by asking yourself: what might stop me from achieving my plan? The best way to explain it is through an example:

• initial resolution: I want to get promoted at work

Consider all external factors in your initial resolution that are not in your control - opportunities in the jobs market or inside the company, other persons involved, skills required, etc. How would it look to still experience success (as you define it) that depends only on yourself? The key is to think about the experience itself, what it brings you (what is the source of your sense of fulfillment and satisfaction), and not the result.

• back-up version: (no matter if I get promoted or not) I am willing to keep an open mind and turn this into a learning experience.

In my example, I take into account that it might not be achievable to get promoted inside your current company or you might require some extra training for your desired job. That outcome can be insightful in creating your back-up plan: I know now what's missing and focus on the specific steps that sit under my control - regardless of the result (getting promoted or not), so I decide to focus on doing my best in preparing for applying for a new job (be confident in your current skills and develop from the knowledge gap that you might have).

Getting a sense of progress while shifting your attention to only what you can control is a powerful way to increase that "I got this" feeling :)

celebrate progress

Motivation 101 = give yourself a pat on the back for even the smallest step you did.

When we celebrate success, no matter how small, our brain releases hormones. Endorphins help relieve pain, reduce stress, and improve your sense of overall well-being. More than that, it reinforces those behaviors that give you this "feel good" mood and so, it sustains progress.

You got this! Congrats! :)